OK my all time favorite pagan son is " I am the Mabon" , Unfortunately I have lost my CD of it:( And I cant for my life find a recording of it again:((

 Anyone know where to look or even have a mp3 file that they are willing to share with me ( U si hoe its legal...)?

 

For those not familiar the lyrics are:

 

I am the Mabon, I am the child
I am Yew, the Golden Bough
I am the dart that the Yew lets fly
Three pure rays, the Pillars of Light
I am the wren, the King of Birds
I am Bard, the Teller of Lies
I am the song within the heart
I am a light that will never die
I am stars within the void
I am the I am the Mabon, I am the child
I am Yew (repeat...)
I am the Eye of The Aeon.

I am planning to take up my own making of insence. And thinking of taking it a step further and make the insences mix as cones, sticks etc to enhance the usefulness of it . Mixed my own insence a few times before but this I have never done. Anyone having experience of this?Tips or trix? Good or bad?

OK, while randomly cleaning up in our apartment after our son it jsut struck me what all the financial hints wants to tell me! OR at least it is something useful for me to think about....

 I have never really had a lot of money so unconciounsly when I have been in trouble I have thought that having/buying a lot of things will fix it all. "If I only had that book I would know exactly what I would need to do to fix my life.... If I only could buy that clothes I wiould for sure get that job.... That painting would be the oly thing I need to buy to make my home more witchery,,,," Well you get the point, right?  So, by always keeping us on the edge the Gods are trying to force me  to walk a way from the materialistic side of me so I finally can embrace the more spirtual side once and for all!

you know good freinds, some days I really wished I was better on interprtating the sings the deities are handing down to me! I do not think I would be happier, but at least I would think life would be simpler then....

 For a while I have been worried quite a bit about our future economy. Silly to do it really it is 6 months in the future and much can happen, but that is just who I am. Recently we got some extra income for a month and I was really happy for a bit. Finally we could actually pay off some of our debts! Weee! Then the car did not pass through the control (without it it will be illegal to drive in Sweden). And the mechanics said it would be around 5-6 000 Swedish crones to fix it. Today 100 SEK is about 65$ btw. OK, good enough , we had the money by fortune and  better than no car at all. And at that time we reasoned that better to fix it now fairly cheap than later and the car would fall apart when driving.... So we handed the car to the mechanics just to get a phonecall 2 hours later telling us it was way to rusty underneath for it to be worth fixing. OK, it could be fixed for double sum - but really no guarantees how long it would last. 3 months or 1 year.... So yesterday we had to start look for a new car. Great. Especially with the low budget we allready has. But we have found a fairly decent one and we going to go looking at it later today. Hopefully it is a good one. But I can not help being frustrated. I had really looked forward to clear our economy and debts a bit and then this comes. It seems like it always happens things like this when we get some money on our hands. We really never ever get a break it feels like :( On the other hand, if we fixed the car etc we never would have known for how long it would stayed in that shape. It could have broken down eventually in a very inappropiate place and time when we really had no money to replace it as we actually do now. So in theory at least things did not get worse, but it did not get better as I hoped either. So I am rally frustrated wanting to know what the dieteis intend for me to learn from this???? When is our time?

Well, first of all - come to think of it: It isnt really odd that these thoughts come up at this time. this is the dark hours. This is when the veil is almost nothing and we can reach beyond the daily life - if we dare....

 I am a fond player of the online-game World of Warcraft. A really rich and rewarding game in one way. but in another way it is really mind-killing and way too addictive. you sit down, to just farm some X material and WHAM 2 hours is passed... and to be on top lots and lots of effort is required. And since I am so dissapointed with my real life achievements I belong to the worst cases I guess. But lately I have felt that the game does not give me the emotional and academical rewards that it used to. More and more I am pioneering my way back to the "normal" world again. I have once more taken up studying my tarot cards and I am reaching after the Godess in a way that I have not done for a long long time. In the best of worlds, the solution would have been easy: Stop playing and jump over the edge in to the unknown. BUT....

 

... now everything is not really that simple. When is it ever?!?! First of all, I have taken on my shoulders the huge responsibility of being the leader of a small, social group. nothing fancy. I am sure they would survive without me. But I feel that now that I have taken up the "chore" I really can not really just leave them. Someone have to lead them, right? As a sidenote - nobody really has sown an unique interest in taken over thealeadership when I have hinted the burden. To help out yes, but not to lead,,,, The hardest part though, which in reality maybe are poinitng to a completly different issue, is that that  game is my fiance's biggest interst (one of many) and I am afraid that I will loose our conenction if I stop sharing that interest with him. We are in intereest so very different that i sometime wondeirng how on earth we found each other. But then our personalities and views of life are linking so good with each other so there is a good clue ! <3 Too bad he is not a pagan! :-( Born and bred muggler , SIGH! anyhow, in short I do not want to loose the one link of interest shared we do have.

 

Anyhow, this week of Samhain I gonna work really hard to find myself and some answers again! Will try to find some "self"time to meditate and pray to the Godess,  I know somehow, somewhere she will bring me the answer. Hope I am aware enough to get the hints LOL!!!